Life's Jagged Edges
When you get right down to it, Life just happens. Every time we think we have Life figured out something happens to remind us that we don't. It's as though there appears to be a conspiracy of forces beyond our control that interfere with our best made plans just at the moment we are beginning to feel real good about ourselves.
Applying this principle to my own Life, when I try to find an analogy I think of the Cascade Mountains of the Pacific Northwest with their brutally jagged, spectacularly beautiful, cliff faces that shape its harsh profile edges. They stand majestically over the landscape resembling the obstacles that become challenges to human ingenuity. They remind me that Life has many obstacles that have to be surmounted along the way with many, many emotional highs and lows that are just part of living. I am also reminded of the numerous lectures I've given to students about dislodging their mental models that somehow Life is supposed to progress in a neat and orderly manner without any disruptions or problems.
The sooner we make this mental switch the sooner we are better able to handle the highs and lows presented by Life circumstances. This is not some metaphysical poo poo but real Life stuff with which we might have to contend on any given day.
In my own case, I was riding high at the end of 2011 and looking with great anticipation to 2012. So many wonderful events happened that simply made my year incredibly special (see my December 25 and December 31, 2011, blogs to understand more fully what I am talking about). Here it is, now on this 44th day of 2012, and today is the first time I have been able to even look at my blog let alone write anything.
Thus far, my year has been filled with more work than I care to think about. Of the 44 days thus far in 2012, I've worked all but two of those days; and the two days I did not work I spent moving from California to Washington. I've become mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted to the point that my body began to breakdown from the sheer weight of work and other responsibilities--most of which I can't do anything about other than to adapt to the changes that are taking place. For me, this is a process of having to let go of my own beliefs, needs, and wants about how things should be done, because I am not the one pulling the strings this time around. I am a fixer and I am currently in a situation within which I cannot exercise my best talents to solve the problems I am confronting--others are driving the star ship and I am just along for the ride.
One of the ways I learned to get my arms around what has happening in my Life is to visualize the major events (milestones) in my life and to plot them as in the example in Fig. 1. (See below.)
Applying this principle to my own Life, when I try to find an analogy I think of the Cascade Mountains of the Pacific Northwest with their brutally jagged, spectacularly beautiful, cliff faces that shape its harsh profile edges. They stand majestically over the landscape resembling the obstacles that become challenges to human ingenuity. They remind me that Life has many obstacles that have to be surmounted along the way with many, many emotional highs and lows that are just part of living. I am also reminded of the numerous lectures I've given to students about dislodging their mental models that somehow Life is supposed to progress in a neat and orderly manner without any disruptions or problems.
The sooner we make this mental switch the sooner we are better able to handle the highs and lows presented by Life circumstances. This is not some metaphysical poo poo but real Life stuff with which we might have to contend on any given day.
In my own case, I was riding high at the end of 2011 and looking with great anticipation to 2012. So many wonderful events happened that simply made my year incredibly special (see my December 25 and December 31, 2011, blogs to understand more fully what I am talking about). Here it is, now on this 44th day of 2012, and today is the first time I have been able to even look at my blog let alone write anything.
Thus far, my year has been filled with more work than I care to think about. Of the 44 days thus far in 2012, I've worked all but two of those days; and the two days I did not work I spent moving from California to Washington. I've become mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted to the point that my body began to breakdown from the sheer weight of work and other responsibilities--most of which I can't do anything about other than to adapt to the changes that are taking place. For me, this is a process of having to let go of my own beliefs, needs, and wants about how things should be done, because I am not the one pulling the strings this time around. I am a fixer and I am currently in a situation within which I cannot exercise my best talents to solve the problems I am confronting--others are driving the star ship and I am just along for the ride.
One of the ways I learned to get my arms around what has happening in my Life is to visualize the major events (milestones) in my life and to plot them as in the example in Fig. 1. (See below.)
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| Life Happens Through Ups and Downs |
What I found through trial and error was that by plotting the major Life events it becomes possible to examine individual events in more depth by exploring their dynamics more fully and by looking at the relationships between one event and another. I found that by examining the underlying supporting belief systems, Life scripts, and feelings that evolved as a result of each event I can work my way to the heart of what has caused me to self-sabotage and thereby contributing to (and possibly creating) the very conditions that I was telling myself I hated.
Exploring my life in such a manner allows me to gain some control of my life by examining what is happening in my life. My experiences in 2012 are no exception. While things have been out of control at work, thanks to a great set of friends and an awesome family I've been able to keep myself from collapsing under the sheer magnitude of the problems I am confronting. My brother, sister-in-law, roommate and Frat brother, and several close California friends gave me a great send-off and ensured that I had what I needed to make my move to Washington. Seven of my Washington friends stepped up to help me physically make the move to my new home and several of them offered to take me shopping since I am currently without a vehicle. And, since making the move one month ago today a number of other friends have come to my aid.
As I have been struggling through sheer exhaustion with keeping my Spirit-self alive, several friends from around the country have come to help me keep going. I even have one new friend who I have not yet met other than through correspondence share her gifts with me even though she herself needs to receive more than she gives. Like all of us, the outpouring of friendship and love forces me to reflect upon how Life happens--and for me that means going inward to reflect upon what is happening to my Life as a result of external forces that are beyond my control.
My journey inward reminds me of more difficult times when I was forced to confront my most deep-rooted demons. I am so glad that over the years I have dispatched my demons or they would have remained below the surface exacerbating my current situation and controlling how I now live. This past week, as I contemplated my current circumstances I was better able to see one of my Life scripts appearing to play itself out again. The difference between today and the past is that, today I can recognize the Life script so that I am better able to proactively respond rather than being blindsided by something that was staring me in the face all along.
My Life lesson that I want to share is that we cannot escape our demons or our past, no matter how hard we try, and they will keep revealing themselves at the most inopportune times until we pay attention to them and put them to rest. Ironically, because Life happens as it will, at some point we will experience having emotional highs and lows during a day, week, month, many months, a year, or many years and there is nothing we can do about it but to learn from each circumstance to prepare us for the next occurrence.
The 44 Day Life Lesson
Today, after 44 days of what I will call pure hell, I have decided to let go of those things I cannot control and to allow the Universe (my God) to work Its magic. Ironically, I have know this all along but like all mortals I have allowed myself to become entrapped in a hell of my own making. Today, after 44 days I have come to remember that this too shall pass--one of the key lessons I teach others, but I had forgotten while embroiled in my own mess. Today, after 44 days I have awakened from what seemed like a nightmare not knowing whether I was coming or going to once again realize that it is my choice to decide whether I want to come or to go. Today, after 44 days I have remembered that the majestic beauty of the Cascade mountains also created the lush and fertile valleys that provide the vistas from the top of the mountains. Today, after 44 days I can feel the wind once again begin to fill my sails so that the journey of my choice can once more continue--as evidenced by today's blog entry.
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| (2011) Pt. Richmond, CA Ferry Point Tunnel |
You are free to invent your life.
To borrow the words from a friend, "I know we are all mirrors for one another, and while we are all love at our essence, the shadows that arise are difficult to embrace, and I am learning to love myself through them, as the love that abounds around, for us and within us is unlimited. Be gentle with yourself. Know you are beautiful as you are." Thank you Christina LaFever for reminding me what is important at the precise moment I needed to hear it. Your words in particular have given my Spirit-self the energy I needed today to do what I live to do--to share Life's experiences so that others may have something to hold onto as Life happens for them wherever and whenever it occurs.
Thank you also to all of my friends and family who have helped me when I needed it the most. Your kindness and love does not go unrecognized. I hope you know just how much you mean to me. We have been and remain committed to each other whenever Life simply happens!
Life happens... You can have a catchers glove, a 1st basemen's glove, or an out fielders glove. the idea is that you have to try to catch the ball when it is hit in your direction.
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