Making the Best of Your Day

by Pettis Perry

 Frame of reference: Life is a Journey and Not a Destination

(2011) San Francisco Bay

As cliche as it might sound, life truly is a journey and not a destination. While, it is filled with moment-to-moment occurrences that could cause your destiny to turn on a dime, it is also intended to be lived fully and abundantly with the opportunity for wonderful experiences to occur frequently throughout the lifetime. 

Metaphorically speaking, hindsight is always 20-20 and we have to live in the present moment; yet, living life with an openness to future experiences and whatever comes your way, offers richness of opportunities and aligns your psychological framework to make the most of each day. After all, isn't that what life is about--making the most of each day?

Here is an example of what I mean. Today, while shopping for groceries at my local Raley's store here in Vallejo, CA I had a chance encounter with the store manager, Ben Diaz, who happened to be relocating his palletized inventory items by negotiating his pallet  jack down the isle I was in. As he approached me he asked "How are you doing sir?" I looked up a bit surprised, but appreciated his reaching out to me and responded with, "I'm good. No, actually I am excellent!" Without stopping his backward movement away from me or skipping a beat with his thinking he inquired, "So, what makes your day so excellent?" As I searched for my answer I began with "I'm vertical (code for I'm alive). I've got my health. I have a great son and a great life. I love what I do." As I ticked off each item he started counting them using his fingers with his hand raised, like my mom used to do when she wanted an accounting of the list of chores I had completed. 

When I was done, I inquired of him, "What about you?" He thought for a brief moment and said, "I'm thankful!" Pausing for a second, he pointed to the sky with his index finger and said, "I'm thankful to Him." I responded with, "That goes without saying." We smiled and went our separate ways.  I was immediately struck by what had just happened. My response to him was so complex: But, his response to me was so simplistic, so beautiful, and so profound that I recognized him as a sage and teacher. (Our teachers come from everywhere.)

(2011) San Rafael-Richmound Bridge

 Flip the Mental Switch

The encounter caused me to continue thinking about our conversation for the duration of my shopping spree and it helped to bridge my feelings between frustration and enjoyment. I took note that one of the things the encounter did for me was to reduce my frustration level with not  understanding the logic of the store layout that was forcing me to walk down the isles multiple times searching for my grocery items. Rather, than allowing my frustration to mount I decided to find the items I could successfully locate and then to seek  assistance from a clerk for the remaining items. The thought of a guy asking for help might run contrary to the logic most men maintain but I keep my ego in check and it was my choice to make: Besides I am fully in touch with my feminine side! 

When I approached the cashier to ask for assistance she said, "Sure!" and directed Billy (one of the bagging clerks) to help me find the remaining items. Billy was also kind enough to provide an overview of how the store is organized so the next time I come into the store I will be able to find things more easily. By the time I got to the check-stand to pay for my groceries the store manager was standing adjacent to me a few feet away. The cashier greeted me with smiles and introduced herself as did the clerk who bagged my groceries. My cart was filled to the brim so it took the cashier time to offload and scan the groceries. 

In the meantime, I approached the store manager and expressed my appreciation for his short response earlier while in the isle, and its resulting personal revelation for me about its meaning. I told him that I was going to share my story as part of my blog as an example of how small events can have big impacts when searching for and creating meaning through life's experiences. Before leaving the conversation to return to pay for my groceries, the store manager asked whether I had a card for my blog site. I indicated "No, but that is a good idea!" I told him that I would write my site information down although I was experiencing visual problems from eye fatigue so he gave me his email information instead. He asked me to send him the blog site link, which I promised to do.  

 It's Your Day. So Own It!

The point of this story is that we each get to control how we are going to engage the world every moment of every day. Since attitude determines behavior, if we are having a bad day we get to choose how bad or good that day will ultimately become by the attitude we apply to the situation. My frustrations in the shopping example were thwarted by my willingness to embrace what was happening to me in that moment while shopping--an activity I honestly dislike. However, because I chose to change my attitude, my frustration which had been increasing each time I couldn't find what I was searching for, waned and my meaningful day (which for me is feeling centered and allowing my heart to smile) returned to shape the remaining part of my day. In the end, I chose happiness over a negative attitude and, as a result, created a meaningful and wonderful day for my Self. 

What I have learned over the course of my lifetime is that I may not have control over the absolute circumstances that occur during each day, but I always have control over how I choose to respond to those very circumstances. Herein lies the great human capacity: Unlike other species in the animal world, as humans we have the ability, by changing our frames of reference, to create for ourselves that which we experience.  By changing the psychological positions we take based upon our respective views of the world we alter that which we experience. In other words, when we change our attitudes, we change our behaviors. By changing our behaviors the world responds to us differently and therefore we have a different experience. The lesson here for each of us is that if you want to create a meaningful life for yourself then take control of your life beginning with your attitude. 

What have you done today to create a meaningful life day for yourself? 

Please feel free to share one of your stories by making a comment.