2012 -- What does the future hold?

 by Pettis Perry

As we close out 2011 and ring in 2012, it is time to account for what our year has brought us and to question what the future holds for us. Since I accounted for my own 2011 year in my December 25, 2011 Life Blog, I'll now focus on my thoughts about 2012.

(2011) Mare Island Bridge, Vallejo, CA

To begin with, I am very excited and hopefully optimistic about 2012. I look forward to completing a number of goals like publishing some articles, writing a book, finding a place to call home, and expanding my relationships. I look forward to again spending time with my son in Canada, returning to Cabo, and continuing my own growth. I am cautiously optimistic for our nation now that we are shifting our strategy from guns to butter (ending the war in Iraq and troop reductions in Afghanistan). Maybe now we can clean up our economic mess and positively impact the global economy (we're beyond your economy and my economy). I am hopeful that as our economy begins to right itself , we can begin to rebuild our middle class, which is the economic engine in our capital economy. Finally, I am also hopeful that the forces of the light will begin to move the pendulum in a direction that will bring humanity closer together as one people of planet Earth.

However, for the first time I truly wonder what the future holds. As I watch the global events unfold there appears to be a major power shift that is taking place unlike anything since World War II. Uprisings on a global scale cause me to wonder just how close we are to a Holocaustic war in the Middle East. I am more concerned at this time in history than I was during the Cuban Missile Crisis of the 1960s. What concerns me this time around is that there are many more actors wanting time on the world stage. Unlike the Cuban Missile Crisis which was tantamount to a boxing  match between two heavy weights, this time it is much more like a rumble and all out brawl between multiple gangs organized solely around self-interests and fighting to control the turf.

(2011) Mare Island Bridge, Vallejo, CA

My efforts to balance my feelings about 2012 are further complicated by the scores of prophecies and predictions over  many millennia concerning the coming end of days, which by virtue of my spiritual beliefs, forces me to question whether there will be a 2013, and if so, what that might look like too.  

I've been asking myself, what if it is true that we are coming to the end of civilization as we know it?  What then? What will be birthed out of that cataclysmic shift, if anything?  Assuming that a new civilization emerges out of the ashes, will we make the same mistakes that we are making now by raping our planet and destroying our own habitat?

Dan Millman who is one of my favorite authors provides the opportunity for us to explore our Life paths using the dates of our birth, so I decided to see what the Life path for the new civilization might look like assuming death and rebirth occurred on the same day using the 12/21/2012 end of days scenario.

By applying the rules for numerology to the 12/21/2012 birth date, the birth would produce the following life path for the new civilization: According to the rules 12+21+2012=11/2. 

Since the number sequence is reduced to 11 when adding the numbers together, you first get a double dose of the number 1 which interestingly enough, is associated with creativity. The number 1  as described by Millman (2011) indicates that as "Individuals working 1 as their life purpose are here to bring positive creative energy into the world. However, because our life purpose offers special challenges, 1s have to overcome insecurity and associated tendencies to block, to withhold, or to discharge energy through addictive behaviors." (If you want to  check out your Life path go to the Peaceful Warrior web site by either clicking on the link under my Favorites  or by navigating to http://www.peacefulwarrior)

Next, further reduce the number 11 to the number 2 by adding the double digits together producing the Life path number 2. The Life path number 2 represents "cooperation, adaptability, consideration of others, partnering, mediating" (http://numerology.findyourfate.com/). Combined this forecast gives me hope that maybe we will move towards a different way of Being as human beings. My hope is that we will finally learn how to use our creative capacities cooperatively to produce something magnificent for not just our own sense of civilization but something much more contributory and productive for the universe as a whole.

Assuming that numerology works and that it can be applied to whole civilizations then this gives me hope that what rises from the ashes will finally get us to the point where I wish we were today. Just think of how much Life would be enhanced if we moved away from conflict and towards cooperation. How much more fulfilled could we become as human beings?

(2011) Mare Island Bridge, Vallejo, CA

Fortunately, a consequential blessing from my Life threatening  medical experience in 2011, forced  me to consider the very real possibility of  my own death, so I have already reconciled that issue for myself and I am fine with what I have accomplished with my Life, making the rest all gravy. Over the years, what I have come to realize about Life is that death is a part of the Life cycle for people, planets, stars, and whole galaxies. It is part of the renewal process leading to transformation of whole systems. Recognizing some eventual truth about the beginning--ending--new beginning cycle is anything but a doomsday prophecy  from my perspective because it enables me to reconcile my oneness with the cosmos and all things in the cosmos. Thus, it enables me to free myself from those things of which I have absolutely no control and to focus on the one thing of which I do have control--my Self.

Therefore, in the closing moments of 2011, as I contemplate my own approach to 2012, I have decided to continue with my respect for the forces of nature without believing that the future of the planet is automatically doomed because of the prophecies. As a result, I will not live in fear of the unknowable, choosing instead to live by following my own advice: Pettis Principle #4 -- Nothing in Life is guaranteed  so why not step boldly into the next second.

Tonight when the clock strikes midnight in my world and I am entering the first second of 2012 you will find me in the process of listening to "I smile" by Kirk Franklin, "I play for keeps" by Cedric Le'Mont, and "How Wonderful You Are" by Michael Lange (see my November 11, 2011 blog) as I move confidently forward to see what mysteries will unfold in 2012. When the stroke of midnight comes to your world, to all of you I salute your journeys and wish you the very best that Life has to offer you! 

Whatever happens in 2012 be sure to make the most of it! Soak up every second of your Life like a sponge and let your cup overflow. As I tell my son, leave nothing on the ice (expend all of your energy towards your Life purpose) and in the end, you will never live with regrets!

This night my toast is "Happy New Year planet Earth! May 2012 be the best year ever for all of us! Salute!

Travel well, fellow travelers.

Picture Credit Thanks to  http://www.wpclipart.com

Christmas--a Day in the Life of Giving

by Pettis Perry

One Day of Giving = 1/365th of a Year

Without any intention to diminish or dismiss other important cultural traditions of giving e.g., Hanukkah (see this link for more information Chanukah (Hanukkah) in a nutshell) or Kwanzaa (see this link for more information Official Kwanzaa site)  I want to focus on the idea of Christmas because it is the one celebration that has such impact on humanity that it has even stopped wars, albeit if only momentarily.  

Wouldn't it be nice if, on a daily basis, we all treated each other the way we do when Christmas roles around each year? Just think of it, we smile, hold the door open for people, wish each other Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, feed each other, give thanks for what we have, pray for and give freely to others, and tell each other I love you! We even do things we would not normally do, like paying someone's toll when crossing a bridge, all in the name of Christmas. 

What is it about these things that we cannot do on a daily basis as a way to create and express meaning for ourselves and others; and more importantly to co-create a better world? Why are these things so difficult for us to do on a daily basis?

I for one do not get it. It is so is easy to live in this way on a daily basis. To see a child smile because you held the door open for him and said "after you" or helping an elderly person walk down the stairs are such easy things to do as a way of giving to our neighbors and building a sense of community.

(2011) Pettis and Matthew Perry, A Toast to You!

Today, is about giving and cheerful spirits.  In recognition of this special day, I want to acknowledge the many gifts I've received making it one of the most extraordinary weeks of giving by people I know. You know who you are so thank you.

 As I think more deeply about today, I realize that maybe I have been wrong about Christmas. Maybe Christmas does come more than one time each year and I just didn't see it. Let me count the ways that I have been touched this year. 

Well, I began 2011 fighting with my boss. By the end of the year, our relationship had become stronger making it possible for us to do great things in 2012. When I was confronting a dark night of the soul, my son and his teammates reached out and embraced me at the darkest of my moments. They allowed me to share in and enjoy some of the greatest moments in their young lives as they pursued and won their league championship. Their generosity gave me hope and let me know I was not alone. When I needed someone to talk to about what was happening to me, someone was kind enough to listen and to take me to my medical appointments. When the moment of truth finally came, my Life threatening medical emergency resolved itself leaving my doctors baffled at what happened and leaving me a much wiser and more appreciative person. When my students, who I live to serve, rebelled and threatened my job security they caused me to grow as a teacher and to produce a course survival guide that has now become a teaching exemplar for my employer. When I wanted to celebrate my birthday someone made it possible for my son and me to celebrate my birthday at a beautiful resort. When I needed a place to live, several of you made your homes available to me. When I thought one of my childhood dreams would never be fulfilled, someone fulfilled my dream and in so doing answered a lifetime of prayer. When I needed to speak about things that have been boiling to the surface, someone showed me how to use my voice. When I thought about giving up on teaching, someone asked me to be their mentor. And, when I thought about how many blessings I had already received this year, someone gave me something I truly love.

This Christmas I have been given an extra special gift. My gift is coming to realize that while we make Christmas a special day of giving and cheer, everyday is potentially a Christmas Day--all we have to do is to appreciate what Life has to offer us on a daily basis and we will see the many gifts presented to us on a daily basis. 

What I have learned this Christmas is that the Universe (my word for God) is truly designed to provide abundance rather than scarcity. Give and give freely, and the many gifts will be returned many fold. Open our hearts and they will be filled with wondrous surprises. Give thanks and new worlds will open to us because we will have learned to appreciate the many little things that come to us on a daily basis and that have such large impacts on our lives without us even realizing it.

What I have learned this Christmas, is that in giving unselfishly we can have the Merriest of  Christmas' and the Happiest of New Years each day rather than waiting for a designated time to celebrate. By appreciating the gifts we receive on a daily basis we learn that giving and receiving does not only happen 1/365th of the year but potentially every day of the year. We simply have to recognize and appreciate what is going on around us. 

I am glad that I have taken a few moments to really think through for myself what this Christmas means to me. In so doing, what appears on the surface like a one day event each year  can be seen to extend to other days throughout the year. What has changed? Only me and my perspective--my frame of reference. Thank you Saint Nick for giving me a reason to stop and to think about what you represent. It is not about one day, but rather a way of Life. Saint Nick you work 364 days each year to bring joy to the world on one single day; and in so doing you have taught me this one day is not about the gifts you bring to people on this day--it is about the other 364 days each year when we have opportunities to share the Christmas spirit. 

To all of you, who have given your special and unique gifts to me, thank you, thank you, thank you for enriching my Life, not just today, but every day! 

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas to all!

Life as a Transformative Learning Process

 by Pettis Perry

Transformation as a Natural Life Occurrence 

Over the course of our lifetimes transformation is going to occur in one of two ways. It is going to occur with us as active and intentional agents of transformation. Or, it is going to occur with us as passive participants going along for the ride. In either case, it is going to happen. With odds such as these it makes logical sense to be an active agent of transformation by acting with intention to manifest what we want in our Life journeys.

Developing a foundational understanding of how transformative processes result can go along way towards reducing the stress that naturally occurs when we feel as though our individual worlds are falling apart at the hands of the traumatic events we encounter as Life simply happens. This fact became blatantly important to me as I learned to confront my own demons. My own experiences taught me that the more I understood transformative processes the more coping skills I developed to work through the very traumatic experiences I encountered in my own Life. In the process one thing that emerged as an absolute certainty was that the foundational understanding of transformative processes literally became my tipping point to stop the dread and to begin turning my life around to create what I have now. What I learned has also enabled me to create new frames of reference for the ongoing  traumatic events occurring in my own Life.

Paolo Friere (1921-1997)

I first became aware of transformative processes during the 1970s while working on my undergraduate studies. That is when I was introduced to Paolo Freire through his work The Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Paulo Freire (1921-1997) was a Brazilian educator interested in why some children who were raised in the poorest of neighborhoods succeeded while others did not. He used the term contientization (". . .developing consciousness. . .that is understood to have the power to transform reality. . ." Taylor, 1993 as cited in Infed) to explain the critical consciousness awakening processes. He believed that learning comes from the lived experiences of people creating an emerging critical consciousness that shapes what become new paradigms to explain how our individual realities of the world work. This process of Becoming and forming critical consciousness produces the need to take control of  changing our living conditions and therefore prompting us to take action. 

Jack Mezirow (1991) and other psychologists expanded upon Freire's critical consciousness work to identify 9 phases of transformation. According to Mezirow (1991) transformation occurs through 9 phases initiated by what he called a disorienting dilemma which could be anything that knocked us off balance. A disorienting dilemma could result from the birth of a child, the death of someone close to us, the loss or gain of a special friendship, job loss or gain, undergoing training or education, receiving personal or professional feedback, or some other significant experience that impacts us deeply enough to shake us up through its significant meaning.

Once we become disoriented, as biological creatures our bodies want to regain and maintain homeostasis (its equilibrium).  Therefore, every time something comes into our lives to upset our equilibrium we struggle to regain our balance by exploring the meaning of the disorienting dilemma through our own unique ways of processing information and experiences. How well we are able to manage our disorienting dilemmas and how quickly we are able to regain our equilibrium is a function of the severity of the disorienting event and our capacity to psychologically and physically cope with the event. The better shape we are in psychologically (including socially, emotionally, and spiritually) and physically the better we are able to cope with the  disorienting events we are sure to encounter along our life paths.   

The Phases of Transformation
  
Phase 1 -- Self-examination

The disorienting dilemma triggers our emotions including grief, anger, self-doubt, fear, etc. We can choose to attempt to suppress those feelings or to confront them. When we opt to suppress our feelings we place ourselves in a position of having those feelings continue to surface throughout the course of our lives until we finally confront them and try to mitigate their impacts. 

Therefore, realistically speaking, childhood traumas that are left unresolved can continuously resurface well into the later stages of life causing substantial and prolonged pain and suffering (often resulting in acts of self-sabotage) until they become resolved. In extreme cases the traumas can contribute to significant physical and mental health problems. 

As an example, when we covet being a parent then we are likely going to see becoming a parent as the change we want to make and as a wonderful opportunity filled with loving commitments to be fulfilled by the experience. Any disorientation under these circumstances are, generally speaking, met with joy and expectation. 

On the other hand, when we do not want to become a parent, but nonetheless find ourselves in a position of becoming a parent, then we are likely going to find dread when considering the prospects of parenting. In either case, learning to become a parent will be a disorienting dilemma for most people because of the stress produced by becoming and being a parent. 

Phase 2 -- Critical Self-assessment

The difference can be seen for the parent who wants to be a parent with the disorienting dilemma presenting itself as an exciting opportunity for a wonderful new future with lots to learn. Parents who do not want to become  parents could find themselves feeling absolute dread with the thought of becoming parents. This dread can produce one or more disorienting dilemmas (e.g., having responsibility for someone else when you are not psychologically prepared or motivated to do so) and thereby producing sources of severe conflict such as feelings of being trapped by the new responsibility that you do not want.

As we move from suppressing our feelings towards increasing the desire for self-examination we move towards freeing ourselves from the demons that hold us back through acts of self-sabotage. For example, becoming a parent changes our views of the world in extraordinary ways e.g., moving from selfishness to selflessness, balancing between home-work life issues, and moving children from discipline to self-discipline, etc.

(2011) The Hockey Center, Powassan, ON

At the point of self-examination we choose how we intend to respond to the dilemma. Was the dilemma created by some truly random event? If it appears that it was a truly random event, then we have to accept the event as a natural consequence of living. 

However, even when events appear to be purely random, they might very well not be as they appear. For example, if we track the story of the decisions that caused the dilemmas to occur in our lives we might very well find that a series of moment-to-moment decisions placed us in the position that produced the dilemma.

For example, when I was in junior high school I was hit by a car in front of my house. I was struck broadside by the vehicle with sufficient force at the point of impact to knock me into the air to produce a landing some 75 feet from the vehicle. When I regained consciousness I was screaming at the top of my lungs trying to get my mother's attention because she was inside our home and did not see what happened. 

As my awareness came back I saw that my head was a few inches from the concrete curb lining our property. Had I hit the curb with my head, it likely would have killed me. When I looked back at my bike, I saw that it was pinned at a 45 degree angle under the front bumper of the vehicle. I knew had I not had the presence of mind to kick my leg closest to the vehicle into the air above the height of the handle bars, I would have been pinned between my bicycle and the bumper which also likely would have killed me. Luckily, I survived the incident with scrapes and a badly bruised butt which apparently absorbed the bulk of the impact--I must have literally been thrown off my bicycle in the exact position in which I was sitting.

This incident produced a framework for a disorienting dilemma for me to resolve. I blamed the women who hit me for not seeing me because she was not looking where she was driving. She never saw me until I screamed "LADY!" just before she hit me. She did not react in enough time to break the momentum of her vehicle which struck me at about 30 mph. The dilemma emerged because, although my mom never yelled at me, she let me know her displeasure by saying "If you had eaten the dinner I prepared for you, rather than wanting to go to the store to get something else to eat, you never would have been hit by that car." Unwittingly (or not), she planted a seed that would not germinate until several decades later as I was looking back on my Life in my efforts to resolve my feelings about the major events in my Life. 

This was an exceptionally powerful teaching moment. My mother was right: Had I not made the decision to go to the store I would not have placed myself in a position to be hit by the car. As I have gotten older my lessons have provided 20-20 hindsight for me to track my acts of self-sabotage and general decision-making patterns to many of my major Life dilemmas. I have since learned that I have greater control over both the positive and negative things occurring in my Life than I had previously understood. 

Phase 3 -- Recognize that Discontent and Transformation are Linked 

In addition to learning about my own mortality at a very young age, my accident taught me many years later that each decision we make on a moment-to-moment basis conspires to produce the major events in our lives. While in college I held enough experiences to begin understanding how my ongoing decisions were connected to the outcomes manifesting in my Life. My decision to study social sciences (the various studies of human behavior) proved to be fortuitous providing lots of opportunities for me to explore my own behavior and to learn that my own evolution was going to require a lifetime of serious study.  

(2011) The Traveler, Vancouver Airport, B.C.

During one of my darkest nights of the soul my mentor taught me that I was precisely where I needed to be at that particular moment. At first, I did not understand what she was telling me. She was telling me to embrace the pain and suffering as my teacher at a moment when I wanted to run from it. What she helped me to learn was that precisely because I was disoriented I was in a position to transform my Self into something more magnificent. My dilemma was in fact my teacher, and it was teaching me about transformation and living with intention (see our December 12, 2011 Life blog Living With Intention).

Phase 4 -- Explore Options

A basic manufacturing axiom is that form follows function which means that we have to understand a thing's function before we can design it. Asking, what part of the problem am I? Why is this happening? How did this happen?  What is the true magnitude of the problem? are all good questions to ask in order to frame the scope of the problem. Once we frame the problem we can exert energy to resolve it by exploring our options. The caution here is to identify problems and not simply their symptoms. For example, continuous anger (symptom) might be the result of being put down or abused as a child; an unhappy marriage (symptom) might be the result of the marriage having served its purpose; and not finding the job you want (symptom) might be the result of  working in the wrong type of work preventing you from following your true Life path--the purpose you were born to serve. 

During this phase, feelings of  guilt might erupt because we did something to self-sabotage, we were fired, failed to resolve unfinished business with someone who has now passed away eliminating opportunities for obtaining closure, or any number of other events that throw us off balance.What is absolutely important here is to search our inner most Self  to seek what truly makes us happy.

The purpose here is to maximize our creative capacities to identify as many options as possible. The trick is to do this without convincing ourselves beforehand that it is impossible to achieve one or more of the things we have on our list.  

Proactive engagement with disorienting dilemmas changes problems into opportunities. As we begin to change our frame of reference from problem to opportunity we are then able to more freely explore our options to create new ways of Being. Identifying our options serves as a prerequisite to transforming a disorienting dilemma into a new plan of action that will lead to a new way of Life.

Phase 5 -- Plan a Course of Action

(2011) Steve Powers, Bellingham, WA

Once we have identified where we are and where we want to go we can identify the gaps between the two points and then create a plan of action outlining how we intend to get from point A to point B. Making the journey between the two points offers opportunities to acquire new knowledge in preparation of completing the transformative process.

Getting from one place to another requires at least some level of planning. Just as we develop shopping lists, use GPS or MapQuest, and plan our days in any number of ways, we have to create the plan and then work the plan. 

When a disorienting dilemma is confronting deeply held beliefs and emotions the impact can be exceptionally traumatic for even the strongest of personality types, buckling the knees of even the strongest of  people. At this point we have a couple of choices: We can plan to confront our deepest held fears, we can try to live in denial that they exist, we can deny that we had anything to do with creating them, or  we can convince ourselves that they resulted by someone else's hand. Living in denial will result in the recurrence of similar events forcing us to confront them repeatedly until we resolve them and get them behind us. Therefore, as adults, accepting ownership for our Life events, living with intentionality to manifest what we want, and planning a way out of our dilemmas is proactive rather than reactive making the act an intentional act of transformation.

Phase 6 -- Acquire New Knowledge

The more proactive approach is to learn how to work through the emotional pain enabling us to move towards a Life free of our troublesome burdens. Thanks to one of my colleagues and mentors Dr. Suzy Ross, I have come to know this process as riding the dragon to confront my demons.

(2011) Cabo San Lucas

By confronting our demons we are forced to resolve them through deep reflection and ultimately forgiveness of Self and others. For example, a person reconciling many years of abuse may find themselves having to forgive their own responses to the abuse or other persons involved with committing the abuse. A person who has been a survivor of such abuse has to also resolve residual anger and even embarrassment from whatever events they encountered.  

Learning to truly understand the dynamics of our situations requires acquiring new knowledge for us to see our worlds differently. We can obtain that knowledge by engaging experts in discussions, reading books, taking courses, engaging training programs, etc. Nonetheless, what we have to come to know is that whatever we were doing beforehand simply wasn't working and needed to change by acquiring  new knowledge, skills, and abilities.

Phase 7 -- Explore New Roles

By acquiring new knowledge and learning new ways of Being we are able to try on new roles and develop new competencies. As a result, we might take on a new and challenging position, take on some hidden fear with the intention of overcoming it, or find ourselves thrown into a situation which requires a baptism by fire.

Each new experience provides opportunities for us to practice what we are learning. By exploring new roles we can test our new knowledge and skills as we develop new abilities through practice. As we deploy our new behaviors we can watch to see how well they fit with what we want to create for ourselves. It is literally like trying on several suits of new clothes before buying the one you most like. If you don't like what you see you simply try a new role.

In my own case, while fully engaged in my own dark night of the soul I decided to make a major shift in the role I played at work. I went from being "the employee voice" and defacto leader of the department to being a silent participant. My changing the way that I behaved (without saying anything to anyone) changed the way that others in the department behaved. What I learned from this test was that I could reduce my own energy output and still achieve my same objectives--change in our department--because others picked up the slack. The other thing I learned is that we never left a meeting without me being asked what I thought about the discussions. This opening allowed me the advantage of having listened to all of the input before offering my own. This change took me out of the spotlight and therefore I was no longer a target in my department because I was no longer the sole bearer of all of the bad news. More importantly, my shift facilitated leadership practices being expressed through my colleagues: They grew to take on the challenges making them more self-sufficient. This was a valuable Life lesson--the more you do, the more others will let you do.

(2011) Shogun, Buffalo, NY

Phase 8 -- Build Competencies and Self-confidence

Part of the learning process is practicing what we have learned as we take on new ways of Being. Learning and practicing new competencies provides new potential skills and abilities. A couple of easy examples to illustrate this point is when I was in the Navy learning to fold clothes the Navy way and then later working as a custodian. Although I learned to fold clothes as a youngster, the Navy taught me a much more efficent and spacing saving method which carries over today. Additionally, during the early years of my career part of my work responsibilities was that of custodian. The two skills sets came in handy throughout the rest of my career as an executive leader with facilities and maintenance responsibilities.

We use trial and error to identify and then practice the most comfortable new roles to assume during this stage of evolving to become a transformed and more enlightened Being (more informed). As we become more certain about our new way of Being we have to continue increasing our competencies in key areas in order to increase our Self capacity to support this new way of Being and to place ourselves in a position to maximize future opportunities we cannot yet see e.g., working on my Masters degree made it possible for me to take advantage of an emerging opportunity to continue my education in order to get my doctorate. Little did I know it at the time that three years later I would  find myself teaching full time at a large College where I would meet someone who would become my spiritual teacher during one of the most dark nights of my Life. Now, twelve years farther down my path I have the best job in the world teaching for a university that allows me to live almost anywhere in the world.

The point here is that I never intended to get my doctorate until the idea emerged at the suggestion of one of my teachers in my Masters degree program. I was perfectly contented with my work and Life at the time and making some sort of a career change was nothing more than a passing thought. 

The single most important lesson from my Life training course, described above, has been that we never know what wonderful things might emerge along our journey but we have to be prepared to take advantage of them when they do occur. Opportunities manifest frequently, but they are fleeting. We have to learn to recognize them and when the door opens  to be prepared to walk through it; and through preparation we will have the confidence to take the next step that could literally change our lives in wonderful ways. 

In my case, the college job opportunity would never have been made available to me had I not had my doctorate and, therefore, my life would be very different today. With 20-20 hindsight I can now see that everything that has occurred in my life has led me to this precise moment with an ability to write this blog.

By approaching disorienting dilemmas with intentionality to learn from the experiences offers us growth opportunities because they become viewed as part of nature's way of illuminating our imperfections, so that we can learn from them. In this way, stumbling blocks literally become stepping stones.

Phase 9 -- Integrate the New Perspective As Part of a New Way of Being 

Over time we become a newly transformed Being because we have acquired new information, fully integrated new coping skills, created new ways of viewing our lived experiences, and absorbed new experiences into a more fully evolved (enlightened) Self  who is then more capable to manage through the next disorienting dilemma we encounter.  In the process, we also transform the ways in which we live on a day-to-day basis enriching the overall Life experience from moment-to-moment.

(2011) Jacquie Perello, Cabo San Lucas

To live a more enriched and meaningful life we have to reconcile the fact that there is nothing in our way but ourselves. Therefore, when we get out of our own way all sorts of miraculous things begin to happen. It is so simple yet we make it so difficult. Our very happiness is only a frame of reference away from any present thought. By changing how we view what happens to us as a natural occurrence of Life events then we are able to accept that transformation is a Natural Life occurrence to be embraced. Once we embrace transformation as a natural Life occurrence then we are able to capture its essence and actively use it for our own purposes to create a meaningful Life for ourselves. 

In the end, the choice is ours to do with Life what we will--good, bad, or indifferent--we own it whether or not we like it. To that end, I don't know about you, but in my case, I'm aiming for the farthest edge of the Universe.

Namaste, fellow traveler! 

 References

Acknowledgement: Paolo Freire retrieved December 16, 2001 from http://www.google.com/search?q=paolo+friere+pictures&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=fZM&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=zMTrTpL2KKiSiQKJgKnMBA&ved=0CCQQsAQ&biw=1138&bih=512 

infed. http://www.infed.org/thinkers/et-freir.htm   

Mezirow, J. Transformative learning: Theory to practice. New Directions for Adult & Continuing Education. (74). 

Mission to Learn (n.d.) retrieved November 30, 2011 http://www.missiontolearn.com/2009/05/definition-of-learning/

Taylor, P. (1993). The Texts of Paulo Freire, Buckingham: Open University Press.

Living With Intention

by Pettis Perry

Live Life With Intentionality and Change the Way You Live 

The other day I was talking  with a friend about living with intention which then prompted me to continue thinking about what it truly means to live with intention. For the purposes of this discussion living Life with intention means living with determination to act in a particular way. The choice is ours to decide whether we will use our intentions to shape Life to be meaningful or marginal. 
 
The nice thing about living with positive intentions is that we get to choose what is meaningful for us in whatever way we intend to live. Whether or not we live with intentionality the fact remains that it is through our individual moment-to-moment acts that we ultimately determine whether our dreams as children match our destinies at the end of Life (Pettis Principle #26). Assuming a Life lived with positive intentions means that there really aren't any right or wrong choices to make about how to live: There is only making choices. So, why not live Life as an unabashed adventure by having fun living with positive intentions? Moreover, if along the way we feel that we have embarked on a wrong path we can change directions because we are in control of our lives. (Learning to be patient, persistent, and how to forgive myself  were very important lessons for me to learn on my journey.)

(2011) Pt. Richmond, CA Tunnel

Generally speaking, living with intention is neutral and therefore neither good or bad. As a result, we can just as easily live a negative Life with intention as we can a positive one. What is certain is that whatever it is upon which we spend our energy will manifest in our lives. If our view of the world is that the glass is always 1/2 empty then we will view Life through a lens of scarcity and unhappiness and therefore manifest those things in our lives. Beauty and abundance exist all around us and yet we create a world of  more scarcity by holding a negative world-view which produces negative intentions, actions, and pure dread.

However, by simply changing the frame of reference with which we view the world we can alter our frames of reference from scarcity to abundance and unhappiness to happiness. It can also work the other way around when we are generally positive and begin holding negative intentions. In either case, we produce what we are looking for in Life just as easily as we walk and drive our cars where we are looking. Therefore, it is important to select positive frames of reference that will produce positive intentionality which then, in turn, produces positive outcomes. 

Copyright Butterfly Pictures

How does intentionality work? Living with intention leads to actions that over time transform our lives. For example, living with intention to be a great parent, to find happiness, or to do something else magnificent requires commitment, focus and attention, and energy which then are transferred into the specific intentions we hold and result in the outcomes we produce through our actions. By holding the intentions we begin to place ourselves in positions where we attract the things we need in order for us to manifest what we intended. Precisely because we are looking for something we find it--it is that simple--all we have to do is to believe it.

Many years ago I was in Barstow, California looking at an old one room schoolhouse blackboard and saw the words, "If your mind can conceive it, and your heart can believe it, then you can achieve it." Obviously, I have never forgotten these words, and I live by these words, which illustrates beautifully the point about living with intentionality. My conviction to this positive intention has enabled me to find success as an executive leader where others found nothing but failure and to find the greatest joys with the Life I'm creating for myself.

(2011) Ferry Point Tunnel Pt. Richmond, CA

Logically, if I want to become an auto mechanic, teacher, soldier, doctor, or executive I have to spend time learning my trade and craft. The more time and energy I put into mastering my craft the greater the payoff in terms of the opportunities that will manifest. (In his best selling book Outliers Malcolm Gladwell discussed the 10,000 hour rule that he calculated is required for anyone to master their craft.)  The same is true for anything I create in my Life. I just have to exercise my brain knowing that I either have or can learn the skills to accomplish my Life mission by living with intention. In my own case, I had to develop the long-view of Life at a time when I was a fatalist believing that I was not going to live beyond a certain age--and low-and-behold--I surprised myself.

Over the course of my lifetime (now spanning six decades) what I've learned about living with intention can be summarized in the following basic principles: 

1. The path is one of striving towards perfection and not one of perfection.

My journey is teaching me about Life through the variety of experiences over the course of the lifetime. In the process my imperfections are illuminated on a regular basis enabling me to learn how to perfect various parts of myself. For example, one of my interests is to study Gung Fu. Gung Fu means perfection through practice and hard work over time. This avenue of study enabled me to not only lose weight, improve my overall conditioning, and to teach my body how to move in ways that were previously foreign to me, but it has developed additional self-confidence and reduced stress. Gung Fu also tests my patience and persistence.

(2011) Natatorium Pt. Richmond, CA

2. There is no daily stuff with Life that gets in the way. Only Life itself teaching us how to live (Pettis Principle #24).  

No matter how perfect we want things to be in our lives there are always things that seem to interfere with what we are trying to do throwing us off our game. There are also lots of pressures for us to remain who we are because it is comfortable for everyone around us to keep their images of us as we are.  In addition, as we are practicing holding intentions to behave differently we find ourselves reverting to old and less desirable behaviors. Those behaviors were developed over many years of conditioning and have become well-embedded in who we have Become. To change those behaviors is going to take time and consistent effort. Even then, under the right conditions those behaviors may continue to emerge albeit (and most importantly) much less frequently over time.

3. Be patient with yourself. 

Copyright Butterfly Pictures

Be kind to yourself by giving yourself time to transform into the new you. You are talking about morphing into something anew which requires shedding the old. The serpent cannot show you its new skin without shedding the old which takes considerable time and effort to complete the transformation. The butterfly does not exist unless it ceases as the caterpillar. Change can happen quickly. Transformation occurs over the course of a lifetime.

4. Forgive yourself for being human--mistakes are going to be made along the journey.

When you fall off the Intention Wagon forgive yourself. It often takes multiple attempts to get it right so allow yourself to make mistakes, knowing that through the mistakes come the lessons for improvement.

5. Be aware that you are changing with intention while others may not be. 

As a result we might find ourselves in a different place while others around us remain where they are. This is the hard part of transformation with intention. It will produce frustration because the pull is to return us to the old way of Being when our individual effort is to create a new way of Being. When we change, the world changes in how it reflects back to us what "it sees." Oftentimes, others like what we were rather than what we are Becoming because it means that they too must change. Be mindful that some people who are there at the beginning may not be there at the end.

(2011) Ferry Point Tunnel Pt. Richmond, CA

 

6. Love yourself.

Unfortunately, many of us do not learn how to love ourselves. I am not speaking about narcissism which is classified as a mental disorder but rather a healthy love for Self as a living, breathing, creative, wonderful Being. Individually, learning to love ourselves as we are is crucial to liberating ourselves from the control exerted by others (with intention or not) and to enable us to develop healthy self-concepts. Loving ourselves for who we are and what we are trying to accomplish with intention in our lives provides the strength for us to overcome obstacles and to feel good about what we are doing regardless of what others think.

7. Life is a process of always Becoming. (Pettis Principle #21.)

As long as we are alive we are in the process of Becoming who we are. Even if we do nothing we are changing because our cells are reproducing and dying, although the rate at which this happens slows as we age. Living with intention means actively engaging Life as we find it and transforming what we find into meaningful Life experiences.

Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes what appears to be a problem provides wonderful learning opportunities for us to grow. Embracing what comes our way as we live with increased intention enables us to see things with new eyes giving us the chance to say yes when before we might have said no.

(2011) Ferry Point Tunnel Pt. Richmond, CA 

 Living with intention transforms a mundane Life into an exciting one because we are not sitting and waiting for Life to simply happen. Instead, we are manifesting precisely what we want and thereby creating for ourselves the meaning we always wanted but did not know how to create.

Live boldly and without fear. Live with intention. Live to create a meaningful Life.

Reference

http://www.butterflypictures.net/1-butterfly-pictures.html

 

From the Mouths of Babes: Life Lessons

by Karen Caton-Brunings

My 10 year old came home from school last week and proclaimed something marvelous.

She has had a very strained relationship with a friend since kindergarten. This little girl and my daughter are like oil and water. As much as it pains me sometimes, my daughter is very much like me. She wears her heart on her sleeve and she can be kind to a fault. For whatever reason (and I do not take myself out of this equation) my daughter will do anything to make other people feel happy. She has sacrificed her own needs, wants, and desires to placate others since she was a tiny little girl. She will apologize even when she isn't wrong. She will smile when she isn't happy. She will laugh when she wants to cry... all in an effort to make others feel successful and happy and better.

I watch it in dismay and I secretly cry knowing EXACTLY how painful that can be. And I worry that one day she will find that she doesn't know what she wants for herself because she has been so busy worrying about the needs of others. It is a blessing to be kind and thoughtful and cautious with the hearts of the people in our lives. Yet, I intimately understand the destruction that can come from not fulling your own cup.

My children have experienced a lot of changes over the past year as I have dealt with finding my own way in this world... learning and exploring what it means to NOT fall on the sword for everyone in my life. They have struggled watching me process years of pain and face fears and demons that are dark and scary. I am still living it, still working daily to find my way and my strength. Friends, it is not easy... not at all. But, there are moments in it that carry me forward and last week, when she came home, I realized that I was rewriting the script for my child in ways that I didn't even know.

She walked in the house, sweaty because she ran from the bus stop. "Mommy! Mommy! I did it! I did it! When I was on the playground, she told me that I was stupid and acting like a baby. I knew that I wasn't so I told her so. I held her words in my hands Mommy...not in my heart!! And I was brave...brave like you... I did exactly what you are doing now. And I just let it be hers."

I couldn't speak. I thought of her bravery and her pride and her confidence in that moment. The times that we had talked, the fight I am fighting all manifested itself in that one little act of bravery on the part of my 10 year old. It was then that I realized that examining my own pain and confronting everything I believe about myself, and making hard decisions and challenging my very being was worth its weight in gold.

Life is funny... and tragic...and beautiful...and glorious...and changing. I have gone from a young woman, without confidence, without understanding my past and how it effected my decisions, my parenting, my professional choices, my marriage and friendships, to a woman determined to find my truth, the real truth, in order to create the life I deserve. In doing so, hoping to create a life that is meaningful for my children. On that day, it was I that learned a lesson from my baby and I will carry it with me for my whole life.